I usually find I have a song that is my anthem, that makes me feel... anything... I just want to feel again. Recently I have 2 songs. the first is a Young the Giant song, however I have been listening to the Darren Criss/Glee version.

"Cough Syrup"

Life's too short to even care at all oh
I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control
These fishes in the sea they're staring at me oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
A wet world aches for a beat of a drum
Oh

If I could find a way to see this straight
I'd run away
To some fortune that I should have found by now
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down, come down

Uhh ch ch ch ch

Life's too short to even care at all oh
I'm coming up now coming up now out of the blue
These zombies in the park they're looking for my heart
Oh oh oh oh
A dark world aches for a splash of the sun oh oh

If I could find a way to see this straight
I'd run away
To some fortune that I should have found by now

And so I run now to the things they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down

Life's too short to even care at all oh
I'm losing my mind losing my mind losing control

If I could find a way to see this straight
I'd run away
To some fortune that I should have found by now

So I run now to the things they said could restore me
Restore life the way it should be
I'm waiting for this cough syrup to come down

One more spoon of cough syrup now [x2]

The other is a StarKid/ Darren Criss song

"Not Alone"

I've been alone
Surrounded by darkness
I've seen how heartless
The world can be

I've seen you crying
You felt like it's hopeless
I'll always do my best
To make you see

Baby, you're not alone
Cause you're here with me
And nothing's ever gonna bring us down
Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
Our love is all we need to make it through

Now I know it ain't easy
But it ain't hard trying
Every time I see you smiling
And I feel you so close to me
And you tell me

Baby, you're not alone
Cause you're here with me
And nothing's ever gonna bring us down
Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
Our love is all we need to make it through

I still have trouble
I trip and stumble
Trying to make sense of things sometimes
I look for reasons
But I don't need 'em
All I need is to look in your eyes
And I realize

Baby I'm not alone
Cause you're here with me
And nothing's ever gonna take us down
Cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
Our love is all we need to make it through, ooh

Cause you're here with me
And nothing's ever gonna bring us down
Cause nothing, nothing, nothing can keep me from lovin' you
And you know it's true
It don't matter what'll come to be
You know our love is all we need
Our love is all we need to make it through

I won't lie, I am struggling. I have a hard time making it through one day to the next. My life is centered on my beautiful little girl. I have started writing a book... I love the premiss maybe I'll share it on here. I want to get back to my art I drew for the first time in 2 years the other day. It was not like riding a bike. It was like a old sweater warm and inviting. I want to paint. I miss the arts. I miss my freedom.

I am going to be fragile for a while as the divorce moves along but I will survive, I will come through. I will prevail I always do.